You'll get no ridicule from me - I sure know what that is like!
For me though, Hazama is one of the reasons I'm able to enjoy BBCS as much as I do. I'm so used to fighting games where you get to the final boss, then you may as well just shut the machine off because the fun is over. I quit SFIV because while I could beat Seth, he felt like such a cheap cheating bastard that finally toppling him on the 50th try wasn't an achievement, it was just an escape from grinding misery. Knowing he was there spoiled a game that I otherwise loved.
I main Tao, and first of all... BB is probably not the game for me in theory. I find the idea of analyzing frame hitboxes sort of interesting that people actually know this, but about as far from fun as doing taxes. I don't know which frames grant invincibility. I hated the trend of emphasizing combos so much it made me retire from fighting games, and the idea of memorizing them even now seems absurdly obsessed... and I say this as someone who can tell you every character's name, background info, theme song title and tune, from games 6-12 in the Touhou series. Fighting game combos are insane...
So I got to Hazama on arcade mode on easy, and he beat me down a few times... Then I realized how easy it was to block and dodge him - no magic boss BS attacks that fill the whole screen and can't be blocked, strike you within 1 frame, etc... So I evaded a bunch and spammed distortions as I could (and yes, used the two from taunting...) and he went down in probably 6-8 tries. Then I turned it up to normal, played through a day later, and beat him in 2-3 tries. I actually hit Google because I was sure there should be a special boss I was unlocking - he didn't feel like a fighting game boss to me.
But that gave me a great respect for this game because I HATE bosses. Rather, I hate characters who are blessed with the ability to cheat because the programmers can't make a decent AI. When Hazama beat me, I'd be taking him down to like 5-10%, and it was still a really fun fight that made me go "well ok... he got me there. I shouldn't have jumped then" or something like it, not "OMG, why is he allowed to hit me a hundred times from 5 feet away without touching me?!" "How did he throw me while he was stunned and I was punching him in the back?!" (true story - damn you, Seth!) "You can't expect me to believe you can just counter 50 hits in a row!" and so on. Without reading guides to see how many true HP he has, it just seems to me that Hazama has a really thick lower HP bar, the snake, and he never lets a distortion finish go to waste (though it's just as easy to block as anyone else's!)
So I hate to be that guy, but... if you practice a bit more, or maybe fool around with some other characters - I didn't think I'd like Carl, but now he's pretty fun. I don't care about Noel, but I seem to win by large margins with her, etc - you'll beat him in time. Hopefully in the meantime, you can learn from how he beats you, instead of just being cheaped out by some super attack. I found he was more skilled than overpowered, and that made me love BB since I can't remember the last fighter I played like that. (I'd say DoA2 since I rip the hardest Tengu apart in seconds, but he's a pretty bad cheater too with his wind...) Even most fighters I really like have a boss that's not even worth making an effort to beat because it's just too impossible or tedious and unrelated to how you play the game in any other situation.